Body language is a fascinating subject, and no area is more intriguing than what we say just with our eyes……want to know how to stop a bore in their tracks, be taken seriously in business, or avoid confrontation? Then read on, because the eyes have it…
When we’re making contact with real people, not just dealing with them in cyber space, our focus is on the face. What their eyes are saying is the bulk of the unsaid information that we get from them, and some of it is even involuntary – the pupils send out signals that are a reflex reaction we can’t control. If you make eye contact and hold someone’s gaze you can let them know they’re attractive to you and you find them interesting. Your pupils will dilate and subconsciously the message will get across. If you’re holding the look to intimidate or show hostility the pupils will constrict.
You can hold eye contact to stop the party bore from going on at you, look them right in the eye and don’t move a muscle! That unflinching stare will have them tailing off and beating a very hasty retreat. If however you want to keep someone’s interest, engage them by letting your gaze wander over their face, from eyes to mouth as they’re speaking. This wraps the two of you into a world of your own.
In business situations if you want to control your listeners, direct their gaze, using a pointer during presentations for instance. This will make sure you are in charge of where their attention lies. If talking one to one focus on the space between eyes and the centre of the forehead, which keeps you in control of the situation. For real power and to dominate your audience narrow the eyes a little – think Anne Robinson and every James Bond baddie!
If you shy away from difficult situations and you want to step away from confrontation, you can submit easily by breaking eye contact, and looking away. This gives them power over you, but will diffuse their anger by subtly letting them win.
If you’re not convinced by the power of eyes, think of Princess Diana and her incredibly appealing dipped eyes, giving her the power to elicit sympathy and empathy from the public. So get out there and practice flashing those baby blues!

Princess Diana Dipped Eye Gaze






